


absolutely smitten

by funstories12



Category: Original Work
Genre: Based on a dodie Song, F/M, dodie References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funstories12/pseuds/funstories12
Summary: this story moves fast. quicker than it should be. but that’s how time can feel after you realize that you can fall in love more than once. inspired by the song 'absolutely smitten' by dodie
Kudos: 3





	1. She’s in Her Party Dress

_She knows this feeling all too well_

_She feels her heart begin to swell_

Chapter 1: She’s in Her Party Dress

She doesn’t really like parties. That’s not to say she avoids them like the plague. She just finds the drinks and the gossip boring. She’d rather sit outside with everyone watching the sun rise, a bonfire crackling in the background, and a bittersweet feeling, knowing that their college days with each other are numbered.

_Two months_ , she thinks. _Two months and then I’m free._

Olivia didn’t have the best childhood, though it could have been so much worse. She wasn’t abused or bullied. She's always had a nice home and three warm meals a day. It was more so how she was raised. Her mother, a stay at home mom, keeps the house clean and wears pearls and makes sure she always looks her best just in case she saw anyone of importance. Her dad, a wealthy businessman, travels at least three days out of a week. What made it hard for Olivia growing up is that she was forced into being the perfect girl for her parents. Always in a dress or skirt, hair kept just below the shoulder blades, studying all the time, and dance lessons. Ladies sit up, they do not swear, they always walk, never run, and they absolutely never, ever share opinions that differ than their father. They must be perfectly compliant. This control lasted all the way into her college years, as she went to a prestigious college near her hometown, and her last two years of college, she lived at home with her parents.

Her life was the same rotation over and over again. Wake up, get ready, go to school, go to dance, study, and sleep. Rinse and repeat.

Her father isn’t heartless, he knows that it is important to have friends and spend time with them. Saturdays are her designated days to hang out with them, but no more than that. Clearly no dating, unless it is someone that her dad approves of.

On Saturdays she goes to her friend’s house and they all hang out together, paint their nails (pink, of course), watch rom-coms, and on occasion, sneak out to parties.

So, on this particular Saturday in the beginning of April, in her small town of Massachusetts, the occasion struck again, and the girls went to a frat house on the beach for a party. Not, however, without some resistance on Olivia’s part. She gets nervous before parties, but when she gets there it always ends up fine, which her friends remind her of every time. Fortunately, she kept a stash of clothes at her friend’s house that she knows her parents wouldn’t approve of for nights like these.

After she puts on her flowy, short, deep pink dress with an open back, she looked in the mirror. Her parents make her wear make-up, but not too much, because that might send the wrong message. She hates it. She took a wipe and rubbed it all off until her face was fresh and clean. Next, she put on some converse and brushed out her dirty blonde hair that was in a stiff ponytail all day.

_Not the best_ , she thought to herself. _But it’s different than how dad wants me to look, so I want it just the same._

She’s not your typical teenage rebellion. She wants to keep her parents pleased, because when they’re angry, it’s like a horror show. So, she keeps her antics quiet. And they never find out.

They arrive at the house on the beach and the air smells of alcohol and salt. Loud music and loud talking, yet Olivia has never heard silence quite like this. The kind of silence where you are alone in your mind and thinking _God, what am I doing here?_

She’s already lost her friends in the crowd. She decides to walk around and greet her classmates until she makes it outside on the beach. There are a few people outside, but not too many where she has to talk to anybody. It’s still too cold to walk in the water, so she opts to sit on the shore just to the point where the waves barely touch her toes. She takes off her shoes and socks and lets out the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Suddenly she feels someone sit down beside her. Slightly annoyed, she turns her head only to see a boy so attractive that she feels her heart drop, just a little. He flashes her a kind smile, and she returns it. But soon she feels a heaviness within her and all the memories from four years ago come flashing back.

_Four years ago,_

_She entered the coffee shop with her bag full of textbooks and notes. Dressed in a yellow skirt and brown sweater with pearl earrings to top it all off. She is the embodiment of what her parents want._

_Olivia sits down at a table in the corner with her tea: two sugars, no milk. She pops her headphones in and listens to music her parents wouldn’t approve of._

_An hour into studying, someone tries to grab her attention. She looks up and she never looks away again._

_Tall, blonde, and the greenest eyes this town has ever seen. He asks her if he can sit there, as all the other tables are taken. Yes, she says, you absolutely can. They both try to continue studying but keep getting distracted by each other. They give up and start talking for hours. Everything from their favorite color to their deepest fears. It’s as if this moment was meant to happen. (Maybe it was)._

_A week later, he asks her out on a date with daisies in hand, her favorite flower. She smiled and tells him she thought he would never ask. He set up a picnic on the beach, just before sunset. She's never felt bliss like this._

_After two months of dating, she finally got up the courage to tell her parents and brought him over to meet them (she already met his parents in an awkward incident when they came home early from golf, but they had dinner together and it went so well.) Her dad has never approved of something so quickly. The boy comes from a well-off family, dresses very well, goes to an Ivy school, and is on track to any law firm of his choosing. How is this real, her father thinks to himself? This is just the type of boy that will take care of my Olivia._

_The father of the boy and her father get along very well, talking business and smoking cigars, and the moms get along like they were always best friends. They go out on family dinners all the time. They stay over at each other’s houses (bedroom door open, obviously). The families have even gone to Nantucket together for a whole month._

_It was so perfect. Until May 21 st, 2017. That date felt like shooting pain in her body whenever she heard it._

_He left her house after dinner and was driving back home. It was raining really hard that day. He left at 10:07 p.m., she knows exactly what time it was and she will never forget it. He kissed the top of her head and said I love you and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. May 22 nd, their two-year anniversary. _

_I love you too._

_He understood Olivia. He knew that she just wanted to be free. She loved ballet, but she wants to do it her way. She doesn’t want to wear those stiff outfits or be stuck studying all the time. He supported her and loved her so much. They were young, but they truly did understand each other better than anyone else._

_It was so dark out and the rain was pouring down, flooding the roads. It probably wasn’t a good idea to drive home, but he wanted to prepare his surprise for their anniversary the next day. He was going to give her a promise ring. Not one of those cheap ones that have a heart and an infinity symbol on it. It was a simple silver ring with a small diamond and on the inside of the ring was engraved with what they always say to each other: Because I love you._

_But they didn’t celebrate the next day. He was nearly home when a drunk driver with his headlights off t-boned him on the drivers side, throwing his car into a boulder. Gone in an instant._

_She didn’t go to school the next day, or the day after that, or the whole month after that. She continued her studies at home via online classes and practiced ballet with her instructor in the studio in her basement. If she left the house, she would have to go on the roads they drove together. She would have to pass his house, pass the beach where they had their first date, and pass the look-out that only they knew about. So, she didn’t leave, a perfect solution in her eyes._

_Her parents weren’t happy about this, but they loved the boy too, so they let it go. She didn’t show up at the end of the year for school and didn’t go around town until the middle of summer._

_In August, the boy’s parents knocked on the door. We’re moving, they said. This town reminds us too much of him and we see his face everywhere we go. We need to heal. We already packed up the whole house, and we found something in his room that we think you should have. They both give her a long hug, tell her how much he loved her and how much they love her, place the small box in her hand, and that was the last time she ever saw them._

_The box sat on her desk unopened and she didn’t open it until about a month into her first semester, when she was actually going in person to her classes. Her thought was that if she didn’t open the box, then maybe he wasn't really gone._

_One night, she a dream that he was back, alive. They were driving in his car with their hands intertwined as they headed to their look-out. They did as they usually did, setting up the trunk to be comfortable with pillows and blankets. He put his arm around her, and they watched the ocean as the sun went down. Olivia, he says. She turns to look at him. Olivia, I love you so much. But I want you to move on. She’s confused, what is he talking about?_

_He continues, I'm not here on earth with you anymore. I’m only here in your dreams. But I can’t stay here forever, no matter how much I wish I could. I want you to move on and be happy. You can love again. I know it because I felt the massive amount of love pouring out of your heart every time you looked at me. I know you are scared. I know you don’t want to let go, and you don’t have to. You can keep me in your heart as I will keep you in mine. But I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I need to know that you will be okay. Because I love you._

_I can’t lose you again, Olivia says with tears falling down her face. It’s so fucking hard without you here, with me._

_But I’m not gone, he says. I promise you, I'm not gone. Anytime you need me, just look at the sun. I'll be shining for you always, it’ll be like I’m right there with you._

_He kisses her one last time and gets up and walks away._

_Olivia woke up crying so terribly hard, but she had to be quiet as she couldn’t wake her parents. She sits up and sees the box sitting on her on her desk. ‘I want you to move on.’ Getting up, she grabs the box and walks to her window to open it in the moonlight._

_The box’s hinges creek open to show the diamond ring sparkling from the moon_. _Attached inside is a small note written in his handwriting:_

_Olivia,_

_God I can’t believe we’ve been together for two years. I have never felt so lucky in my whole life. I love you so much it hurts. Now don’t freak out. This is just a promise ring, I mean come on, we’re only nineteen! But this ring means a lot. Because I am promising you my forever with you._

_I love you more than I can put into all the words in all the languages combined._

_P.S. look inside of the ring._

_She takes the ring out of the box and reads the words engraved inside: Because I love you._

_Slipping the ring onto her right ring finger, she takes one of his old shirts out of her closet and puts it on._

_I love you too._

Olivia comes back into the present, with the sun feeling a little extra bright and looks at the boy next to her. She’s felt this feeling before. She feels her heart swell with excitement and anxiety. She hasn’t felt those feelings in her heart for a very long time.

_Hi_ , the boy says. _I’m Trevor. What’s your name?_


	2. Light As A Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter. not much needs to be said for these two here/

_Handsome stranger, you have made her insides turn to jelly_

_She wants to dance around the room_

Chapter 2: Light as A Feather

Olivia and Trevor talk for some time before they stand up and take a walk along the shoreline. They talk about nothing and everything. Where were you born, what do you want to be when you grow up, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor. Nothing too personal to the point that Olivia feels scared. Just enough to know a person.

It all comes to a halt when a drunk frat boy comes running by them and spills his beer on her dress. Quickly, they rush inside to the master bathroom, seemingly the only one available. The others were occupied either by someone throwing up or doing something that her parents wouldn’t approve of.

Trevor grabs the towel on the rack, dampens it with water, and starts dabbing at the stain.

_I don’t think this beer stain is coming out anytime soon, Olivia._

_Don’t worry about it,_ she replied with a warm smile. Trevor felt his heart stop. _It wasn’t a very expensive dress._ He gives up on the stubborn stain and becomes lost in her eyes.

They both lean against the bathroom wall as they slowly slide down it to sit on the ground.

_A rocket engineer, really?_

_Huh?_ Trevor looked confused, but only for a moment. _Oh yeah! I uh, I don’t know if that’s the technical term for it, but yeah. Space is terrifying but somehow, I still want to help the world get there again._ He pauses. _An art director, really?_ he says imitating her.

_Well, more specifically an art director at a ballet institute. I love the ballet and all of the traditional dances, like the Nutcracker. But I want to bring new dances into the world of ballet. Ballet doesn’t have to be only sad or happy. An infinite amount of emotions should lead way to an infinite amount of movements._

To be honest, Trevor wasn’t really sure what she just said, he was too focused on her facial expressions and gestures while she was talking. He realizes it’s the most genuine smile she’s had all night.

Slowly, muffled music starts to pour into the bathroom and it happens to be Trevor's favorite song.

_Screen falling off the door_

_Door hanging off the hinges_

_My feet are still sore_

_My back is on the fringes_

Standing up, he slightly bows and reaches out for Olivia’s hand. _Can I have this dance?_ He says it in a snotty British accent, making her giggle.

_You may._ She grabs onto his hand and they start dancing on the tiled floor. She twirls around and sings along to the words as Trevor plays air guitar.

_I was up against the wall on the west mezzanine_

_We rattle this town, we rattle this scene_

They hold each other’s hands and start jumping around, singing the lyrics at the top of their lungs. He dips her and she shows him how to waltz, which he fails miserably at and she makes fun of him for it. He doesn’t mind though, because her laugh is a drug and he’s already addicted.  
  


Slowing down to catch her breath, Olivia begins to feel nervous around him and starts to walk backwards towards the bathroom wall as Trevor slowly follows her. Her back hits the wall as they look into each other’s eyes while not-so-subtly glancing down at the other’s lips. Slowly he leans in, now only inches away from her face, and he tucks her hair behind her ear. He dips his head down as Olivia stands on her tiptoes and puts her arms around his neck.

Their lips touch and she feels those butterflies in her stomach that she hasn’t felt in a long time. With one hand placed on her cheek and the other on her hip, Trevor feels sparks shooting through his fingertips. The dancing is quickly forgotten as the muffled music continues filling up the room.

_Oh, Anna Sun_

_Oh, Anna Sun_


	3. Am I Still Pretty To You After We Kiss?

Kiss you until your lips turn blue

But handsome stranger you have made her wonder...

Is she pretty?

Chapter 3: Am I Still Pretty to You After We Kiss?

The world is quiet and peaceful when they leave the party together. Trevor reaches out for her hand a few times, but Olivia pulls away discreetly hoping he doesn't notice each time. (He does.) She can’t help but think back to her first kiss when she was five years old on the playground and then her first kiss with _him_.

_Seventeen years ago,_

_Olivia was on the playground with her friends probably playing fairies and making potions out of mud and leaves. Next thing she knows, a boy named Aaron kissed her. She was confused at first, but then she thought to herself ‘oh I guess this means we’re married,’ as anyone would at that age. But then she hears his friends laughing and found out that they dared him to kiss her. It was Olivia’s first heartbreak. When she got home she told her parents and they told her ‘boys will be boys.’ Not understanding how that was an excuse for embarrassing her and breaking her heart, she just moved on. Boys are stupid, but apparently boys will be boys._

_Four years ago,_

_He just introduced Olivia to his parents, and it went so well. She bonded with his dad over school and bonded with his mom over ballet. There couldn’t be a better girl for their son._

_Once dinner was over, he drove Olivia home, as she’s never been too fond of driving. On the way to her house, he takes a detour onto a cliff by the water. The moon reflected so beautifully onto the ocean and the waves made her feel safe. They got out of his car and sat on the bench with the perfect view._

_She wants to kiss him, so she moves closer to him hoping he will take the hint. And he does. Pausing, they pull away just so only their foreheads touch, with their eyes closed and breath heavy. A small smile forms on his face. She opens her eyes and blushes after seeing his face, so she turns her gaze towards the water._

_Do you even know how beautiful you are, Olivia?_

She’s brought back to the present when Trevor stops at a bridge. Still, she’s stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. She’s worried that this doesn’t really mean anything, that she’s not beautiful to Trevor, that she’s just a stop along his way to whoever he ends up with. Why does she even care? They just kissed, that’s all. It doesn’t have to mean anything to either of them. Sighing, she just tries to focus on where she is and what she’s doing. She’s overlooking the water with Trevor (who is standing awfully close to her) and watching the sun slowly rise. The birds take the hint and wake up to sing their morning songs.

Trevor looked over at Oliva as they leaned over the railing on the bridge. He can tell she put some sort of wall up, but he once again gets lost in her beauty. He can’t help himself anymore, so he swallows and says to her, _You know, you look really pretty during the sunrise._ It’s not exactly what _he_ had said to her that time on the cliff four years ago, but she realizes now that she doesn’t want him again. He was a once in a lifetime person. What she _did_ want was a sign from him. A sign that said go for it. Maybe it’s different this time, but different doesn’t mean that its wrong. Maybe it was that she was the moon lighting up the dark for him, but for Trevor, she’s golden as the sun. Even if Trevor isn’t someone she’s supposed to have a long love affair with, even if her time with Trevor is limited to these few hours, she fees the weight of holding up the night sky for someone who isn’t even _here_ anymore lift off her shoulders. Olivia isn't the moon anymore, and for once, that doesn't scare her.


	4. Fate Gave You to Me, But Can I Love Twice?

But it's too late

She believes in fate

Chapter 4: Fate Gave You to Me, But Can I Love Twice?

Olivia decides it’s her turn to make a move, so she reaches out for Trevor’s hand. Surprised at first, he relaxes, outstretches his fingers and intertwines them with hers. It’s now 7 am. How it got that early so quickly they’ll never know, but it doesn’t worry them too much. Instead, they’re quiet, a little cold, and lost in each other.

What is Fate doing to Olivia? She never really thought of fate as something that plans out avenues of love different ways and multiple times. Can she really love a second time? Can she release the breath she’s been holding in since May 2017? What’s the point of holding back, of denying herself the opportunity to love and be loved again? She only just met him, but she can’t help feel like Trevor is someone she was supposed to meet.

But what if Fate’s just a malicious bitch? Taunting her with genuinely kind and true people, only to rip them away from her. Why does Fate get to decide everything? Her friends, boyfriends, even her parents. Well, maybe the parents one was just chance. There’s no way Fate could have planned everything perfectly so that she would exist one day, right? That takes the choice out of a human’s hands. But from everything she heard, her parents love story didn't form completely from the will of their own.

They met when they were seven years old. Their parents took them on vacation and it just so happened that they were the hotel room right across from one another. They hung out at the pool every day and went to the arcade together when their parents went to the bar with each other. They’ve never had so much fun. It was a tearful goodbye for the kids when it was time to go back home, so they had a picture taken of them with their arms around one another to remember each other by.

The next time they saw each other was senior year. The boy’s family moved to the same town as the girl, unbeknownst to either of them. When he walked into school on the first day, they passed each other in the hallway, met each other’s eyes, and then turned away. They didn’t recognize each other. At all. The pictures were stowed away, and the trip was forgotten.

Olivia’s parents never interacted in high school. They didn’t run in the same circles or have the same classes. It wasn’t until five years later, after they graduated college and moved to a big city, they ran into each other for the last time. They moved into the same apartment building, on the same floor, right across from one another. After becoming fast friends with copious amounts of flirting, they realized they went to the same high school. And it wasn’t until one year later, after four months of dating, that they realized they had first met each other when they were kids.

It was their parents that put it together when they all went out to dinner. The couple’s parents recognized each other and eventually found the photos of when they were kids. Six months later, after Fate had made them realize they were meant to be, they got married.

For all their faults, for all their questionable parenting, or lack thereof, Olivia still admired and loved them. All she wanted when she was growing up was to have a love story like theirs. But she had one already. There couldn’t be anything or anyone else for her. How could something be as intense and kind and life altering as _him_ happen twice? Surely Fate doesn’t give a shit about her anymore.

Though, Olivia thought, if Fate worked so hard to bring her parents together time and time again, wouldn’t that mean that Fate has to have more in store for her? Maybe she’s supposed to love and then love again. Fate made her go to that party. Fate brought Trevor to her. Fate ruined her party dress so they would kiss in the bathroom of some rich kid's parent's house. So what gives? Fate took _him_ away from her and now it's brought her Trevor. Does Fate actually care about her enough to ruin her and build her up? Or is it just sitting there, pushing random buttons no matter the outcome so that Olivia will get to whatever final destination is at the end of her life? Does the middle part not matter? Maybe its just the bookends of life that Fate cares about.

Whatever the answer, she tries to convince herself that she doesn't care. She's excited about Trevor. And even if Trevor isn’t someone she’s going to fall in love with, even if she never sees him again, it will all probably be okay. Love isn’t one person, one place, one time. It’s your whole life. In whatever outlet love will come to her next, she’s no longer scared that for the rest of her time on earth, love won’t be a part of it.


	5. I Told You Everything, Are You Going to Stay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, but filled with relief.

She's absolutely smitten

And she'll never let you go

_Chapter 5: I Told You Everything, Are You Going to Stay?_

They slowly make their way into town, still holding the other's hand gently. Trevor’s stomach grumbles and they look at each other and burst into laughter.

_Wanna get something to eat?_

_Yeah, I know this great coffee shop._ She’s been in here since that day, obviously, but it feels different going in with someone else. He orders a latté and a scone and Olivia gets a tea with two sugars, no milk. She’s never hungry this early in the morning. Trevor pays for both of them. He insisted so much and she didn’t have the energy to argue with him.

They slide into opposite sides of the booth, far from where that boy had asked if he could sit with her.

She feels bittersweet. Bitter that he’s gone but filled with the sweet memories she has because of him. Trevor distracts her when he starts talking about this time he had almost died with his childhood friend when they were skiing. They were making stupid faces at each other and didn’t notice how close they were getting to a tree. Evidently, they noticed just in time.

Trevor then notices a picture of Olivia and that boy on the café wall. He was kissing her cheek and she was smiling so wide and they looked so happy and perfect.

_You’re on the wall of a restaurant? I didn’t know I was hanging out with a famous person!_ She laughs a little and goes on to say that he was her boyfriend and they were regulars here and they became so close with the owners that they earned a spot on the wall of pictures.

_So, uh, is he your ex?_ Trevor feels a little awkward saying this, but he wants to make sure he’s not getting into a messy situation that will end up with a jealous boyfriend on his doorstep.

_Not exactly. He died in a car accident about two years ago. We were dating for a long time and I thought I was going to be with him forever. Forever ended up being much shorter than what I thought it would be._ She wants to say more but stops herself. She doesn’t want to drive him away so soon. Not when she’s having so much fun.

He doesn’t know what to say. Does he say sorry? Or is she sick of hearing that? Maybe he could say something about how hard it must have been, but she must be really brave if she’s still here today. No, that’s too dark. He finally looks back up at her and he can tell that she wants to keep talking about it.

_What was he like? Or, sorry, do you want to tell me about him?_ She sighs a little, replying with a simple head nod.

Olivia starts talking about _him_ and she can’t stop. She tells Trevor about the trips she went on with him, the stupid jokes he told her, the time he set up a prom for just the two of them in his backyard when he found out she never went to hers because she had the stomach bug. She tells him about the time he broke his ankle while he was trying to impress her with a skateboard trick, the time he accidentally caused her to have an allergic reaction because he made her pancakes with cinnamon and he felt so bad but she was laughing so hard from the look on his face that she wasn’t even upset with him. She recounts the story of when their parents finally let them go away for the weekend just the two of them and he kept making the wrong turns so they didn’t get to the cabin by the ice covered lake until one a.m., but it didn’t matter because they were having so much fun singing so loud to their favorite songs in the car. She talks about the time her grandmother died and he didn’t leave her side once at the funeral and spent every day at her house for a week after, making her favorite foods and watching her favorite movies so she wouldn’t be alone. She tells Trevor so many stories that she doesn’t even realize she’s crying until she sees the concerned look on his face. But she’s not crying out of sadness, she’s crying out of relief. This pain was stuck within her for so long that to get it all out felt like letting the light back into her heart.

For a moment, Olivia is afraid that he’s going to find some excuse to leave, but that fear is quickly diminished when he gets up and sits down next to her and puts his arm around her shoulders.

_I’m sorry I just unloaded all of that on you. It’s kind of weird saying all that to someone I barely know. I’m we’ve only just met a few hours ago and I really like you._ Fuck, why did she say that? Oh well, no recovering from that. Might as well keeping digging her hole. _I guess for some reason I feel safe around you. Sorry, I realize that this whole dead boyfriend thing might freak you out. Clearly, I’ve got some stuff I need to work through. But talking helps, most of the time._

_Don’t be sorry. I’m happy you feel safe around me, I would want nothing less._ He pauses, afraid to say what he’s going to say next, but he feels safe too. _For the record, I really like you too. And I hope you know that this doesn’t affect anything. I’m sure that it’s been really hard for you, but that doesn’t make me want to run for the hills. I’m not that type of person._

She leans her head against his shoulder. _Do you think it’s weird how comfortable we feel around each other? It happened so quickly; I haven’t even known you for a whole twenty-four hours yet._

_No,_ he says. _I think it was meant to happen. Like they say, Fate works in mysterious ways. And things only have to go as fast or as slow as we want them to._

Olivia watches as the sun sparkles on her ring. _Fate’s usually bitch,_ she thinks to herself, _but something is telling me Fate’s changed places with someone else._


End file.
